A Pacific Assignment

I am in the Pacific Ocean on assignment for my biology class.  My goal:  To find 3 different animals that are over 30 feet long.  Naturally, I'm going for a swim cause that's where all the big fishies live.  No worries though; I can breathe underwater and apparently don't get tired from swimming.  I am essentially Aquaman's brown-haired doppleganger.

Attack of the GPBs

There's really nothing better than being on vacation with your family now that everyone's old enough to drink (inevitably except for one cousin; Sorry I'm not sorry, DD).  We were on a booze-filled excursion of Tatooine when all us younger generations decide to rent an extra vehicle (driven by the DD cousin, of course).  As usual I am running late and miss the cousin transport away from the desert planet.  Still at home base, I was still brushing my teeth when I noticed a bright red urgent signal flashing on one of the fancy computer stations clearly heralding, "You. Are. So. Fucked."

Paleo Challenge, Night 4

Never ending Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Straight to the face. For hours.

...

Then I woke up.  Perhaps this Paleo Challenge is getting to me

Business Jets and Softball

San Francisco. Big break. I've just been hired on as a biomedical consultant for Maximus's engineering firm.  Think tall glass buildings surrounding verdant gardens of peace and serenity and an absolutely absurd starting salary.  It is in one of these gardens that they've decided to introduce me to the entire company.  I felt honored and privileged .. even though I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to be doing for these people.  I assume something important.

Alien-Run Underwater Hotel

I was on the Oregon Trail trudging down the wagon road in my prairie schooner with my friends in the back, when we stumbled upon a ghost town in the middle of Bumblefuck, Nowhere.  As tumbleweeds blew across the hard beaten path, gusts of wind rattled deserted wooden buildings and kicked up dirt into the horse's eyes.  One of the ratty old wooden structures looked bustling, so we opened the door to find techno music playing and flashing strobe lights wailing on our senses.

Crime Fighting Telekinetics

I was in a sunlit apartment with 2 of my crime-fighting buddies knowing that we had to solve this case or else something unspeakably bad would happen.  Couldn't tell you what, but on the TV screen in the bottom left-hand corner there was this bare-chested scientist in a lab coat jumping up and down with a little word bubble coming out of his head saying, "You've won the game!!! Scroll up for a clue!!"  Somehow I'd managed to turn the TV into a touch screen reminiscent of an iPhone, so I swiped upwards to reveal a man about to leap from a skyscraper.

Water Demon's Pretty Cool

Celia and I (... ignoring the fact that I know no one by the name of Celia) were on a sunset-lit beach when a water demon emerged from the ocean.  He was big and slimy, with a largely stereotypical snake-fish lower half and a fin-eared, scaly blue torso carrying a trident.  Thinking all we had to deal with were some similarly stereotypical powers of water manipulation, we rushed the demon hoping to catch him by surprise... but no, the fucker summoned a horde of zombies to meet us out.