In an effort to get more worldly I was on a global adventure exploring new cultures and exciting environments, hoping to return with tales of wonder and majesty. At this point I was in an cave-like enclosure within a farmland oasis while rain poured outside. There was sand on the floors, driftwood burning, and 10 gorgeous ladies sitting on one side with an older woman on the other. She announced that they were to take their vows and began chanting. Soon the cave was filled with the voices of women declaring themselves as daughters of the fire crystals, heralding the end of each verse with "... and into the fire we shall return!" ... with the ceremony culminating in the older woman bursting into flames!
Shocked and speechless at what I had just witnessed, the newly initiated ladies showed no reaction other than reverence and silently passed me a beautiful crystal as all the flames subsided. In the pitch dark, the crystal burned with an inner fire of its own, revealing a glowing ruby with veins of sapphire elegantly laced throughout the gem. I wondered where they had found such a treasure and they took my hand to lead me outside.
"The bull plants the seeds and the soil grows it," was their response, indicating a bull that was dragging its ass in parallel lines along the farmland, digging deep furrows into the rich soil as the rain came down (think massive dog that has worms and needs to itch its butt so it drags itself along with its forelegs as it rubs its behind across the floor)... This is not what I was expecting...
They suggested that I try it out, so I transformed into a bull and proceeded to drag my own ass across the farmlands, racing the other bull to see who could get to the other end of the farm in as straight of a line as possible. I ran into some other villagers, some trees, and some rough rocky patches, but I plowed on through thick and thin and nothing stopped me from creating my butt-furrows!
When I won, I transformed back into a man and the 10 ladies escorted me through a wonderland frozen from winter saying they wanted me to see their home in the clouds. After passing icicle after icicle, we boarded a bus that flew through the countryside... but not before letting us witness a horde of 500 wild horses flowing through the majestic woods, putting on a thrilling spectacle that we had the privilege to witness.
So when I said flew, it literally meant flew. Soon we were up over the tree tops and heading to a village on top of a snow covered mountain above the cloud cover. When we landed all I could do was take in the breath taking views while the ladies made fun of me for being a ground-dweller. "Not even as high as our house yet!" they said... and then two of them stole my shoes! Bitches!
As I raced down the snow covered steps chasing after the two giggling women, I couldn't help but take account of how much my feet hurt. While still impeccably clean and as if I had just come from a pedicure, they were really really sore from all the exercise and butt-furrowing I had been doing that day. Plus running down these monstrous over-sized steps was not helping. All I wanted to do was prop my feet up and relax, but the two kept goading me on. We reached the bottom of the village, still above the cloud cover, and they threw my shoes over the edge! Dejected, I saw my dad in front of a cart saying it was time to go home.
...
Then I woke up aching
Photo Credits: Farmland Rain, Ruby Sapphire, Bull, Mountains
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