Miley Sued For Gamma Ray Use

As Miley Cyrus, I was in the middle of figuring out which of my lives I liked better: a small town country bumpkin or *sticks hands underneath armpits and then takes a huge whiff* a SUPASTAH!  Naturally, this contemplation was brought about because I had fallen in love with two men from two different worlds (because boys are and should definitely be the most pivotal catalyst in a teenage girl's life).  I had refused to leave them behind while I toured the countryside, so I brought them both with me on my worldly exploits, each with his own trailer.

Greek Olympians Meets The Little Mermaid

Me, some chick in a white shirt (we'll call her Rachel), and this random guy Mike were just hanging out when the Greek goddess Hera appears all brown haired and statuesque and tells us that we must venture underwater to help out with a problem the Pantheon was having.  Swimming through the sea in what mostly consisted of jeans and t-shirts, we happen upon one of Poseidon's 4 brothers (cause you know, Poseidon had 2 other brothers mythology failed to record): this Enrique Iglesias-looking type dude chilling out on a rock in an underwater cave (now referred to as Enrique).  He tells us that Ursula (the evil fat octopus bitch from The Little Mermaid) was stealing the phytoplankton from the upper layers of the ocean by convincing the coral to trap them and weave intricate tiny tunnels from the sunlit areas of water down into the places where the sun don't shine using King Triton's big magical stick thing!