Teenage Drama

We were seated in my daughter's high school gymnasium watching a pep rally.  The evil bitch cheerleader named Manda was trying to sell her evil witchy dark powers to the unsuspecting students of the school.  Black magic flowed in and around the basketball court - souls of demons and whatnot seeking new converts.  As she was prancing around and cackling maniacally, students were flocking to her because she promised good grades and unlimited success in their futures... plus she was hot so a lot of the guys wanted to bang her.

A Pacific Assignment

I am in the Pacific Ocean on assignment for my biology class.  My goal:  To find 3 different animals that are over 30 feet long.  Naturally, I'm going for a swim cause that's where all the big fishies live.  No worries though; I can breathe underwater and apparently don't get tired from swimming.  I am essentially Aquaman's brown-haired doppleganger.

Attack of the GPBs

There's really nothing better than being on vacation with your family now that everyone's old enough to drink (inevitably except for one cousin; Sorry I'm not sorry, DD).  We were on a booze-filled excursion of Tatooine when all us younger generations decide to rent an extra vehicle (driven by the DD cousin, of course).  As usual I am running late and miss the cousin transport away from the desert planet.  Still at home base, I was still brushing my teeth when I noticed a bright red urgent signal flashing on one of the fancy computer stations clearly heralding, "You. Are. So. Fucked."

Paleo Challenge, Night 4

Never ending Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Straight to the face. For hours.

...

Then I woke up.  Perhaps this Paleo Challenge is getting to me

Business Jets and Softball

San Francisco. Big break. I've just been hired on as a biomedical consultant for Maximus's engineering firm.  Think tall glass buildings surrounding verdant gardens of peace and serenity and an absolutely absurd starting salary.  It is in one of these gardens that they've decided to introduce me to the entire company.  I felt honored and privileged .. even though I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to be doing for these people.  I assume something important.